The need for speed?

So, speed dating (italicised for go-faster effect)... it's just like talking to people, but with a few key differences.

I was not expecting to become a speed dater - rather, I was actually proceeding at a slow pace, in so many ways, before a sudden 'acceleration' into it. I was employed to DJ at the Getogether in Blackfriars, and after a morning in Cambridge, I assembled my heavy record box, and off I went on the train to the Big Smoke itself. I got to North Grenwich station - I no longer get confused - in the afternoon and was met by Deborah to go and pick up the PA.

Now, here, if this story wasn't exciting enough, a whole extra dimension was grafted in... while at N Gren, I found a wallet in the car park - really quite full of cards and moneys (£90) just before Christmas, which I then handed in and I hope they got it back and the Underground staff didn't steal it, like they sometimes have been found to do.

After suffering exposure to solvent abuse at New Life, off we went, PA on board! We then changed cars; disembarking, unloading, reloading, reembarking. Then to Blackfriars - The Evangelist Bar, which is quite a swanky joint, and really quite nice. Here, I unloaded the PA, again, and set it all up. Hurrah!

The story now truly begins, as people start arriving. I was quite tired, after all that, and sat down to eat my tasty tasty food at a table with some of the Speed Daters. And wonderful people they were - I'm not entirely sure why they were single. Anyway, as I sat there I thought, "My, this is nice, and I don't have actually do anything for the next hour", and slipped into mental neutral.

In fact and w.r.t. my imminent future somewhat embarassingly, when people asked me if I was doing the speed dating, I said "No. I'm just DJing", which some people took offence at, thinking I was deriding the essence of speed dating, which I wasn't... and this was fair enough - things may have been carefully organised and who was I to disrupt the balance? It's not that, unlike many christians (especially ones in Cambridge), who may mock and stigmatise it, I have any problems or issues with speed dating, in fact I have a lot of respect for it and the people who do it, if, as indeed it was done at GeTogether, it is done in the right way and with the right atmosphere.

But, like the coming of spring things changed, and changed with blithe rapidity! Before I knew it Bukky had me in an arm-lock - "We need more men" she said. It turns out that some of the men had paid, but not turned up. So in a flash I was deposited infront of some young ladies who I had just told that I wouldn't be involved in the speed dating... One of whom was already rather unimpressed when I said that I didn't have a car, only a bike, and that any children would have to be transported by towing them along behind, either on a skateboard or rollerskates depending on their size.

Now, unfortunately, this quick change of pace, which was similar to the solemn and tortuous task of waking up each fresh morn, left me at somewhat of a disadvantage - still being in mental neutral remember - whereas my co-speed daters, were already mentally up to speed as it were. Nevertheless, I am not so easily beaten, as those who have seen me get up when the impending loss of breakfast is at stake, and I quickly got into the swing of it! Nitro!

I enjoyed Speed Dating although I have to admit that I was a charlatan and a cheat. The other people there had paid good money to be there and meet potential future partners, whereas I was getting paid to be there and did not really have any desire to find a potential future partner. I can talk, and I can talk about pretty much anything with pretty much anyone - albeit generally at a slower pace than that optimal for speed dating - and this is indeed what happened. But at the same time I knew that I was cheating; it was easy to talk, because I was putting nothing at stake, whereas they had put a lot at stake especially emotionally. I was taking no risks, contrasting to the many they were taking. All I can say is that certainly if I had been in a conducive partner-seeking gear, then I would have thoroughly enjoyed it, no problem.

Then I retreated off and hid behind the DJ table for the next 4 hours until 2am. However I was not "safe" there, especially from the probably gay chef, who bought me drinks and told me that he started DJing aged 8 and is famous in his home town as the 'little DJ'. Maybe he was just being friendly. Maybe it was friendly when he ruined my mix too...