Cheese Inquisition Lady Makes Dr Joe's Day

I have made a new friend today!

I have a cold. The first one I can remember for many a month, and I was going to buy throat sweets after buying fruit on the market - Vitamin C? check! drugs? lock and load!

Out of the corner of my eye I saw a survey lady, complete with clipboard advancing. In my experience, they get within 10 metres of me and then realise that this is not the CLASS X gentleman that they were looking for but some lower life form, and let me pass by. However, she appeared to have some kind of missile-lock on me and as I got closer I realised that she, unlike all her preceding survey-mongers, was not going to pull out! So I played it cool.

Survey Lady: "Hello, I'm doing a survey. I was wondering if can I ask you some questions?"
Dr Joe (aka me): "Yes"
Survey Lady: "Do you eat cheese?" (I like this style of survey)
Dr Joe: "Yes"
Survey Lady: "Do you ever eat foreign-style cheese, like feta?"
Dr Joe: "Yes"
Survey Lady: "...and how about brie?"
Dr Joe: "Yes"
Survey Lady: "Good. Now, what is the profession of the head of your household?"
Dr Joe: "Eh, what?"
Survey Lady: "Who is the head of your household?"
Dr Joe: "Well, I'm the oldest one, will that do?"
Survey Lady: "Yes dear, and what do you do?"
Dr Joe: "I'm a scientist..."
Survey Lady: (adopts quizzical expression)
Dr Joe: "... a research scientist"
Survey Lady: (still quizzical) "Really, are you sure?"
Dr Joe: "Yes"
Survey Lady: "Because you don't look like one!"
Dr Joe: "I'll take that as a compliment!"
Survey Lady: "That's how I meant it!"
Dr Joe: "Good"

It was at this point, i.e. when she said that I didn't look like a scientist that she became my "person of the day"! Hurrah! But there was more...

Survey Lady: "Now, do you eat milk?"
Dr Joe: (ignoring obvious pedantry)"Yes"
Survey Lady: "Butter?"
Dr Joe: "Yes"
Survey Lady: "How about cheese?"
Dr Joe: "Yes" (cheeky! - she already knew the answer)
Survey Lady: "...and yoghurt?"
Dr Joe: "Yes"
Survey Lady: "So, why are you so thin then?"
Dr Joe: "It's not my fault - I am trying to put on some weight" (pats belly)
Survey Lady: "Oh, I hate people like you!" (I think she was just joking)
Dr Joe: "Sorry!"
Survey Lady: "And how often do you buy foreign cheese products (list of options)"
Dr Joe: "B"
Survey Lady: "Now if you have a bit more free time, would you like to go into that building and you can have some free cheese and answer more questions about cheese?"
Dr Joe: "Maybe some other time"
Survey Lady: "Ok then, take care. We need more people like you!" (not clear as to why)

And I never saw her again. It has though only been 2 hours since. But more importantly I got back to the lab and found that I had not bought the drugs I had intended! All this talk of cheese eating habits had flown thought of throat medicine from my mind - she must have been a cheese siren, luring me away from hexylresourcinol-based throat salvation.

So I had to walk all back into town, but I have decided to forgive her, especially as she was so kind in her estimation of my appearance. Now I have the self-confidence to do anything!