Fish Rescue Update

Previously I have described the methodology for rescuing prize-winning Koi Carp from beneath a thick ice pall, namely to pour on hot water to gradually melt the ice, but REMEMBER, no smashing the ice, as the fish might have little fishy heart attacks and die.

In the recent cold spell the pond has, once again, become well frozen over, entombing the fish. It was with interest that I received a phonecall from HM J, having seen him just arrive home but moments before.

"Pond's frozen. Look," exclaimed he, and looking out the back window I saw that he was not mistaken.

I then saw him accidentally pick up the cast-iron garden chair (pictured left) and accidentally toss it onto the ice, "Ooops." Whilst the chair caused a ruction, the ice held firm, even when the chair was followed by the cast-iron table (below right) "How clumsy of me!". The ice cracked some more. However, none of the fish appeared, at least outwardly, to be suffering from a myocardial infarction contrary to what we had been lead to believe by the Landlady lady. Tougher than they look these Koi Carp.

So they lived through that one. But the ante was upped and things came to a head a few mornings later as the pond had been frozen for some lengthy period now - it was a time for action: something needed to be done...

So, HM J and I set about boiling pans and kettles to melt through the ice and free our scaly friends. This we did and formed a number of air holes. Success! Or was it?

It was not totally satisfactory: it was ok, but something was lacking - more was needed. Noticing this ozone of nonplussedness, HM J, sprang into action, and, quick as a flash picked up a paving slab (shown left) and set to work, systematically redefining the ice-scape on two sides of the pond, battering through the ice with Herculean blows. Bash bash wallop wop! ... and before you knew it half of the pond had been liberated!

Still, there appeared to be no signs of fish mortality, which merely served to encourage us towards further violent ice disruption: dredging out the newly formed icebergs, we propelled these with force at the remaining ice sheet. It took a while, but all of the ice became freed from its former bondage. And, even after some pretty major disruptions to their submarinal existence the fish not only did not all die, in fact none of them died, and as the picture below clearly shows, they actually appeared to be quite happy and showing signs of mild flirtaciousness.


So the old lady was lying, which was not necessarily her fault, but she had been mislead by an urban myth, which has been thoroughly and rigorously tested by myself and HM J, and proven to be untrue.

Go on, smash the ice. It's been scientifically proven.